GMC Hummer EV Pickup
Why 5.5: Four tonnes, tri-motor, and a party trick called Crab Walk — the electric truck built to be seen as much as used. Resale has been brutal industry-wide, which at least keeps it out of the flip column; nobody's speculating on a depreciating Hummer.
Layout
Natural habitat
Ride comfort
Sound
Watts to Freedom plays a layered Bose composition of distorted guitar and low rumble through the cabin while the suspension squats. But it is a sound effect bolted to a launch sequence rather than a car making noise, and it convinces less than the Taycan's.
electric · rated 0.9 / 10 for engine sound
Market value
Median asking price, good condition · €100k (2022) → €53k (2026), trending down · illustrative data
Child seats · ISOFIX
Crew-cab rear bench has LATCH lower anchors at both outboard positions plus top tethers, standard GM truck practice.
No LATCH hardware up front; the crew cab's rear bench is the documented child-restraint position.
FMVSS 225 (US federal LATCH mandate, lower anchors + top tether required from Sept 2002) (owner-community sourced, not manufacturer documentation)
The long version
Early allocations flipped hard until the resale collapse ended the game, and what's left is theatre ownership: the truck appears at job sites it doesn't work, trailheads it doesn't pass and cars-and-coffee mornings where the Crab Walk demo draws the crowd. Four tonnes and three motors make it violent in a straight line and irrelevant on a road with corners, which owners understand perfectly — it was bought as a statement, and depreciation is the cost of making one. Valet Royalty at truck scale.